WARNING: Tact not included.

I no longer see this country's future to be as bright as I hoped it would be. The thing is though, this is not because of 'the blacks', but because of the white man.

One thing I cannot stand, detest, despise, hate is racism. I cannot handle it though more and more I see it around me. The outlook that so many white people still have, even after 12 years of so-called democracy, is disgusting. It boggles my mind that fairly intelligent people can think of and treat other human beings with such disrespect, as if they were better than them because of a mere genetic difference of pigmentation. Because one has a darker skin colour than others, they are automatically stupid, lazy, dumb, stubborn, criminals and slaves and I'm leaving out so many other labels. The thing that disgusts me the most is that the white people will interact with the "ka***rs" with a smile on their face and a joke on their lips, but as soon as they are no longer in the same room they bitch, moan and skinner about them. In the isolated environment that we have at the restaurant, the way the kitchen staff are treated, thought of and spoken of is appaling. It is taken for granted that they don't know what they're doing. I'm pretty sure that every day that I have worked there, and I have worked there on and off for 2 years now, I have heard at least one remark about 'hoe dom Lizzie is" or "Jis maar daai Paulina is lui". I sit outside and listen to this, and I can't help thinking that this is probably the way that the mojority of white people in South Africa think, whether they voice it or not. It doesn't matter that maybe Lizzie can't read properly because your parents (or even you) put her through bantu education where she was barely taught how to sign her name so she could make verging-on-slave-labour contracts to work for you, call you BAAS and wipe your children's asses. When I've confronted people about their feelings the answer I get is "No, we've had different upbringings". NO DUH! Then you had an upbrining that was blatantly wrong, even evil, and you should be bright enough to see that by now. The trouble is what do I do? If I speak up I will most probably lose my job, a job that I love, and I still feel some sort of allegiance to. However, if I don't what happens to my morals? I've already decided that I will not be returning to work at the restaurant after this vac. In my head I'm still arguing with myself wether I should do something more drastic sooner. Without trying to fall into the same trap of judging people by skin colour, I have lost faith in my own race.

Looking at myself, I know I have had a slightly different upbringing. I know I went to a 99.75% black school (the work black not including coloureds and indians as so many people do). I know I have grown up with very liberal parents. I know I am lucky enough to be at university which should possibly mean that I think a bit more than the average person. I know that even with my minimal political knowledge I remain an ANC supporter and think that they're on the right track, despite the few setbacks, and I do suffer from white guilt. But come on! Surely by now people should have realised that to think like this is wrong. Yet people still have the belief that their views are completely justified, even to the extent that white people and black people are two completely different species (I have honestly had someone say that to me). How can we ever expect this country to ever succeed if we have people that think this way? We live in a black country: South AFRICA. You as a white person have no claim to this land, it is by grace alone that you are living here. Come on people, think a little bit for heaven's sake!

The sad thing is I can't see any solution to this problem. How do you change people's mindsets? Doing this, whining about it, will not help and I realise that. But I have to say something...